Mothers in 'form'!

A standing ovation for the Maharashtra government to allow children to use their mother’s maiden names in school admission forms. This decision will come as a relief for single mothers, who could be divorcees, widows or adoptive single mothers. Single mothers in the country have to face this trauma of not getting identified by the school authorities, unlike their father, who finds space in these forms even in absentia. Motherhood is sacrosanct, a relationship that is often glorified in art forms like literature and films.
According to the Hindu custom, a son begins the rituals of his dead father, by saying, “My mother told me you are my father....” Motherhood is a secret. No one but the mother knows who the father is. Paternity tests can be held to prove the origin of the sperm. Motherhood needs no such tests. But our patriarchal system requires the father’s name, and not that of a mother, when society can never confirm who the father is, only assume!
A founding member of a leading Delhi-based school chain made an interesting observation last week during the school’s annual day function. He said that his school's criterion for granting admission to a child was the mother's education, not the father's. Further, the greatest prerequisite the school looked for in the child was his/her mother’s occupational status. His reason: It was the mother who helped the child with home assignments. Therefore, a homemaker’s child had a better chance of cruising through the admission process than her working counterpart. If the mother was a doctor, the school was not too keen to admit the ward because she would be on call all the time and it might not be possible for her to attend to her child’s educational requirements.
This was also the case with two other school chains which have branches all over the world. This sounds sexist, and opens a working versus stay-at-home mom debate. But that is a different discussion route, which I am not going to take at the moment.
It is interesting to note that it is mostly the mothers who attend the school’s parent-teacher meetings, probably because they help them with their school assignments. This is not to negate the role of fathers in bringing up a child.
Then why are they never given the space in the admission forms? It would do well for other states in the country to emulate the Maharashtra example and provide relief for such single mothers, who are struggling against all odds to find their own identity.