Dr Sen, you are guilty……of selflessness!

Democracy in our country has been reduced to an impotent yes-man as has been evident in the Raipur Sessions Court in Chhattisgarh that penned the life sentence judgment for the human rights activist and doctor, Binayak Sen.
So what if the judiciary let go of the Bhopal gas tragedy culprits with a mockery of a sentence. They are the corporates and cannot be ruffled. So what if the country’s biggest scamsters are going scot-free after having consistently looted the public exchequer? So what if our political leaders are bending backwards to allow multinationals and local industrialists alike to rape our land and its natural resources and dig down deeper and deeper for precious minerals, displacing natives. So what if the country’s land sharks are consistently devouring rich agricultural land for industrial and real estate. So what if politicians indulge in big, fat weddings for their children. We know where they got the money for the diamonds and gold, the free flowing liquor and the endless course buffets even as more than 70 per cent of the population get to drink dirty, contaminated water and stay hungry for most time of the year. So what when heavy rains inundated Tamil Nadu, rendering thousands homeless, the DMK bosses, including chief minister Karunanidhi and his team, were enjoying Tamil film stars gyrating on stage at a glittering music release function. So what if a Suresh Kalmadi is enjoying his morning walk on the sprawling lawns of his bungalow a few minutes after an eye wash of a CBI raid in his residence. So what if our political leaders deliver provocative speeches, fuelling communal and parochial passions among masses. So what if these hate-speeches fan riots, taking the country back further. So what if the country’s most sacred democratic function, the elections, is rigged indirectly by candidates doling out money for votes. So what if the treadmills and other equipment for the commonwealth games were hired officially at obnoxious rates when they could have been bought. So what if our pillar of democracy, Parliament, went through an entire session without conducting business a single day, wasting crores of tax payers’ money. So what if the fourth estate turns into a corporate pimp, prostitutionising the profession.
But suddenly the country has to wake up to its judicial conscience to prosecute a human rights activists and doctor, whose only fault has been to spread health awareness among poor tribal villagers and raise his voice against those displaced.
Of course, that is not right, Dr Sen. You are a brilliant doctor who could have made millions. Why did you have to give up those green bucks and roam around the tribal hamlets in your quest for their betterment? This democratic nation of ours will never allow the downtrodden to rise. It is a democracy for the rich, the famous, the corporates and the multinationals. See, what this nation has given you in return: A life term. And look how it has treated the Bhopal culprits, or the Rajas and Kalmadis. We are aware, but cannot even scream about so many of our politicians whose personal assets have only multiplied with their years in office.
Dr Sen, now the court has simply said you are guilty. Yes, you should be guilty of your services, of your selflessness, of your activism. You could have been better off earning those millions.

Heroes of democracy

Biharis have done it. This often ridiculed group of people have shown they are the real heroes of democracy. They came out of the Laloo Prasad Yadav spell five years back when they voted for change, and catapulted Nitish Kumar, the socialist follower of Ram Manohar Lohia, to chief ministership. Today, they ensured he remains the state’s chief minister for the second consecutive term, throwing the anti-incumbency psephological concerns to the winds.
As chief minister, Nitish Kumar had concentrated on long-delayed projects, built bridges, laid non-existent roads, kept crime in check, appointed over 1 lakh school teachers, encouraged the girl child to go to school by providing her uniforms and cycle and ensured doctors actually attended to primary health centres. To outsiders it might sound like this was his job, and he’d better do it. But the joke that did the rounds in Bihar pre-Nitish Kumar was: people get paid to report for work, and want overtime money to do the work.
Nitish Kumar carefully chose development politics over identity politics: a stark deviation from the typical Indian brand of politicking. He did not allow the hue of alliances to taint his secular and socialist credentials. The shy politician resisted the temptation of bringing ally BJP’s star campaigner, Narendra Modi, to increase his brand equity. He ruffled a few feathers and invited media attention when he politely refused Modi’s oratory services. He chose to keep a low profile, concentrated on development of a state which was termed bimaru (sick). Having concentrated more on work, he did not need speakers, he did his bit with workers. And by keeping Modi out of the picture, he weaned the Muslims from the Laloo Yadav-Ram Vilas Paswan clique.
Gujarat and Uttar Pradesh, too, had returned their respective chief ministers, Narendra Modi and Mayawati, to second terms. To be fair to Modi, he did push Gujarat towards progress, and won over the electorate, more on his development report card. However, he has been unable to shrug off the 2002 ghost. He continues to carry that burden on his saffron shoulders.
Mayawati, on the other hand, tried the unique Brahmin-Dalit coagulation, and it clicked in Uttar Pradesh. But she went overboard with her Dalit and statue politics, erecting elephantine images of herself, her mentor Kanshi Ram and their messiah, Ambedkar. Both Gujarat and Uttar Pradesh rode high on communal and caste politics.
But the Bihar electorate has shown unbridled maturity in shunning identity politics, and diverted its attention to development politics. It has rewarded Nitish Kumar for his multiple achievements and acknowledged the attention he paid to issues that were hitherto ignored during the 15-year tenure of the erstwhile first couple of Bihar: Laloo and Rabri. The election verdict is a lesson for the rest of the country, whose leaders are continuously pushing the electorate into caste, communal and regional politics.

‘Car’bon footprints

Our Environment Minister Jairam Ramesh has said it is “criminal” to drive around in SUVs and BMWs that typically run on diesel, a commodity heavily subsidised in India for farmers and priority sectors. However, rich owners of luxury vehicles also come under this umbrella of subsidised diesel, which along with LPG and kerosene, is costing the exchequer Rs 51,000 crore. This is an amount, India as a developing country cannot afford, apart from the carbon emissions these vehicles belch out.
Obviously, the immature solution that came to my mind initially was blanket cancellation of diesel subsidy. Then came another wave of thought that suggested a creation of a two-window outlet of diesel, the subsidised one for farmers and the non-subsidised one for the SUVs and other luxury vehicles. This was again a self-defeating solution as it would lead to a thriving black marketing. I then borrowed a suggestion of the Kirit Parikh Commission that an additional levy on such luxury car owners would limit their sales. Discouraging the use of such fuel-guzzlers through stinging fiscal barbs might discourage buyers and thereby bring down the sales and carbon emissions too. But will the automobile lobby that has a lot at stake in the industry be a silent observer to this leash? Environmentalists are also crying hoarse over lack of an efficient public transport system to ensure reduction in carbon emissions.
There is an emotional angle to this too. The aspirational levels of middle class Indians have grown. The previous generation, which travelled sleeper class in trains and boarded buses to college and work, now wish they and their children could travel in comfort. They want to relive their youth through their children, and in the process have forgotten to imbibe the virtues of a green lifestyle into the psyche of the generation next. Buying a bike for college-going children so that they need not rub their shoulders with sweaty fellow passengers is a vacuum of wisdom. The lure of commercials backed by easy consumer loans has also made it easier for the middle class to satiate its appetite for luxury. Then, there is this typical urban “let’s go on a long drive” culture. I personally feel such aimless drives are not remotely romantic. Added to that are the blobs of carbon footprints they leave behind. The romantics can probably try long bicycle rides. It could recreate the old-world charm.
Finally, there is the pressure of peer. The increasing system of living in gated communities has led to being “noticed” in vehicle upgrades. This psyche of owning a high-end vehicle elevates their standing among the community, prodding to more me-too owners of such cars. But such emotional arguments obviously cannot find itself a solution to fuel -guzzling cars and carbon emissions. And it will certainly not succeed in awaking green consciousness.
In any case, green campaigners prodding people to use bicycles for short distances or public transport are branded outrageous suggestions by the affluent middle class. And, this argument does not even reach the ears of the upper class, which fancies keeping a fleet of high-end fuel-guzzlers.
So, carbon emissions cannot be argued on an emotional platform. Research on increasing the vehicle’s efficiency of fuel consumption will probably atone for our sinful marks of carbon footprints.

Of overflowing coffers and empty conscience

There is a children’s short story in Hindi about a tight-fisted king whose subjects seek his help during a famine. His matter-of-fact reply is, “Today it is famine, tomorrow, it could be an earthquake, the day after, people would be dying of poverty. If I go around helping them, what will happen to me and my treasury?” [Striking resemblance to our politicians].
When his subjects request him to part with some money from his overflowing coffers, the king retorts that it is his money and he would do what he wanted with it: boil it and drink or even fry it. It was none of the business of his subjects.
Seeing people in distress, an old monk decides to help them by tricking the king. He approaches the king with false praises and asks him for some offering, saying he would take a rupee on the first day and its double the next day, and a double of what he took the second day on the third and go on with the double of the previous day for 20 days. The king was only too eager to part with what he thought was a tiny amount from his treasury. But mathematics beat the king as he realised he had parted with Rs 10,48,575 at the end of 20 days.
I wish we had a monk in our midst to fool our Kalmadis and Rajas. What else is the solution to dissolve our corrupt rajas in white? For starters, the ruling Congress sacked Ashok Chavan as Maharashtra chief minister and Suresh Kalmadi as Congress Parliamentary Party secretary as soon as the Obamas punched their return ticket. However, the main course of action remains to be seen. Suresh Kalmadi retains his position in the Indian Olympics Association as well as his MP status.
The next storm brewing over the capital is the 2G spectrum scam. The Manmohan Singh government is caught between the Supreme Court questioning the continuation of the telecom minister, A. Raja, in the Union Cabinet in the wake of the Rs 1.7 lakh crore scam and keeping its key ally, the DMK, in good humour. The Supreme Court has slammed the CBI for “dragging its feet” on the 2G spectrum scam and called its investigation “slipshod”. It also questioned the continuation of A. Raja as telecom minister.
The DMK, will not tolerate the removal of its minister, A. Raja, as it would be seen as admission of guilt. This will not work well for Karunanidhi’s DMK, in view of its image in the Assembly elections in six months’ time. Karunanidhi has carefully polished the chief ministerial chair for his son, M.K. Stalin, and wants no curtains on his Dravidian drama. But, he is also carefully treading his path. Rahul Gandhi’s efforts to mobilise the youth in Tamil Nadu might fracture the DMK’s base and the doting father does not want to ruin the dynasty after having carefully worked on it. So the choice of guilt, UPA alliance and Assembly elections hang heavily on Karunanidhi’s old shoulders. That could be the reason the DMK fired a cracker this Diwali season, using the Dalit wick. It said sacking Raja might not bode well for the UPA as he is the Dalit face of the alliance. This salvo might work, as both the parties hope to cash in on the Dalit votebank in the Tamil Nadu Assemble elections.
A good friend pointed out that Suresh Kalmadi belonged to his “home state” and, he was, therefore, ashamed of his deeds. Do not worry, my friend. All our Indian friends will have some reason to be ashamed. Every state has its own share of ministers who have mopped up money. In other words, every state has corrupt politicians. Jai Hind. We are all in a Sorry State.

She is not God of All Things

Arundhati Roy spoke and the media exploded. This time she adopted another pet and called it Kashmir. She said she was speaking what “millions of people in Kashmir have been saying everyday for years". To quote her: “Pity the nation that has to silence its writers for speaking their minds. Pity the nation that needs to jail those who ask for justice while communal killers, mass murderers, corporate scamsters, looters, rapists, and those who prey on the poorest of the poor, roam free."
The government is now contemplating sedition charges against her and hard line Hurriyat leader Syed Ali Shah Geelani, with whom she shared the dais at the seminar, 'Whither Kashmir? Freedom or Enslavement'. The media lapped up the debris left behind her explosive call for supporting those who want ‘azadi’ for Kashmir.
There is no doubt about the fact that India by itself is a post-colonial construct, the concept of Hindustan arising out of the imperial ashes. History is testimony to the fact that in the span of a century from Robert Clive-led Battle of Plassey in 1757 to the Sepoy Mutiny (or the patriotic term "first war of independence"), the colony called India more or less took shape as it is today, sealed to a large extent by Dalhousie's final nails of annexation. The 1940s saw an impatient British empire rushing through partition of a non-nation and marking ambivalent boundaries. The empire was in a hurry to leave the country. It left, but in shreds after its loot of our resources to fund its industrial revolution and its rape of our conscience with its seditious designs of divide and rule. Left to fend for itself, the country gifted itself Kashmir, again in a hurry before their people could realise the pact with their Maharaja. But after the accession, like other princely states, Kashmir remains a part of our democratic fabric, though its politicians retained their feudal colour. The Indian government's promises got buried under the Valley's political and military snowstorm.
That Geelani shrewdly used star activist Arundhati Roy to add glamour to the separatists' call for azadi is a natural marketing gimmick. But Arundhati Roy romanticising Kashmir militancy is dangerous. A writer-activist adopting the cause of Maoists and displaced tribals is understandable. That is an internal question. But calling the Indian government's acquisition of Kashmir foul is a serious cause for security concern. It is at best an open invitation to destablilise the volatile sub-continent. By espousing the cause of separatists, she is questioning India as an entity and that is outrageous.
Agreed that Kashmir is an Indian question mark, but instead of solving the question, Roy, as an Indian, could help democratic forces resume a healthy dialogue and inspire sincerity among government and security forces. And, the Indian government, instead of contemplating to arrest Roy, could begin taking sincere political and economic steps in the Valley to win back people's confidence.

Merkel's silent bomb

German Chancellor Angela Merkel has dropped a silent bomb. “Multikulti, the concept that we are living side by side and are happy about it, does not work,” she said. She is echoing the political climate in Germany that seems to be “committed to a dominant German culture and opposed to a multi-cultural one”. A study showed that more than 35.6 per cent of those surveyed believed Germany is being “over-run by foreigners” and more than one in 10 called for a “Fuehrer” to run the country with a strong hand.
This is disturbing trend and reminds us of Nazi Germany’s political slogan: Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer, which means One people, one nation and one leader.
Jingoism and jobs have become the two sides of the coin. Remember, the job riots in France? Or American President Barak Obama’s call to American companies to look at Buffalo instead of Bangalore for talent, his striking tax incentives for such patriotic gestures and the hiking of H1B visa rates for Indian companies’ offshore pursuits.
Globalisation, according to Thomas Friedman, has helped flatten our world and fade the countries’ borders. It has given an opportunity to multiple talents crisscross our planet, throwing boundary politics to the wind. The goal was larger now, going beyond self and country. This was a healthy trend, till recession dented the resilience. The anomaly of globalisation is taking wings in the form of jingoistic politics. Economic reforms and tax restructuring have become ways to poke the “immigrant” the wrong way.
While India and China are taking giant strides, the economy has dipped significantly in Europe. Jobs are getting scarce, and hence insecurity has crept in. Political leaders across Europe are more or less talking the same language. Spain, Greece, France, Britain or Italy might not have been as blatant as Chancellor Merkel, but have thrown subtle and sometimes not-so-subtle gauntlet at the immigrant population that brought them there because of globalisation. To add to the contamination of the economic waters is the slow-poison of international terrorism.
The pangs of insecurity are probably making the developed nations turn inwards for native talent. But more than that, it is leading to a dangerous trend of political leaders pandering to local sentiments for short-term gains. And they are coming out with insignificant policies like the burqa ban that have no bearing on economic uplift. I am no advocate of the regressive burqa. But the fact is going strong on such measures deflects the attention on serious economic reforms and turns the immigrant into a potential victim.
A narrow economic vision guided by ethnocentricity is the most potent venom that guarantees the demise of humanity first and globalisation later.

No nano gesture..

Corporate India did it again. In one of the biggest contributions by an Indian business house to the cause of elite education, Tata Group chairman Ratan Tata has donated a whopping $50 million to Harvard Business School. The Ivy League, known for its academic excellence and selective admissions, will return the expensive gesture by getting Mr Tata’s surname embossed on an academic and residential building that is scheduled to be completed for the fall of 2013 and naming it Tata Hall.
Mr Tata’s words after bestowing the wealthiest gift to the business school’s 102-year history: “It is a privilege and pleasure to give back to Harvard a little bit of what it gave to me.”
“A little bit” is just so humble, sir. “This little bit” is aimed at “supporting the school’s educational mission to mould the next generation of global business leaders”.
That is indeed a “little bit” sir towards moulding the business leaders of tomorrow who will faithfully carry out the global corporate strategy of wringing dry the planet’s resources and pushing the agenda of corporate colonisation. Indeed a little bit, considering that they will be getting back very rich returns by impoverishing the planet, its land, water, and resources. So investing $50 million is indeed a lucrative business tactic.
Mr Tata’s “little” gift surpasses the $10 million donated by Mahindra Group chairman Anand Mahindra to Harvard for its Humanities Centre made a few years ago.
I just wondered why these corporate super powers run to these exotic business schools and make such “humble” contributions. What if they could look inwards, turn towards our primary school education or any level of education of their choice and help build a foundation strong enough for nation building. After all, they made their fortunes using this land, labour, power and water.
The Indian education system is falling abysmally behind other nations. A plethora of government initiatives to provide accesses to primary education notwithstanding, there are glaring gaps in the system owing to lack of committed teachers, textbooks, teaching materials, and drop-out rates. Free and compulsory education to all children up to the age of 14 is a constitutional commitment in India, with the Right to Education Act. But we still see children bringing us tea and wiping tables in dhabas.
If such corporate giants could come forward and extend even their little finger in this direction, we could probably achieve a lot more.
Mr Tata created a middle class dream car and named it Nano. Nano means something very small. It comes from a Greek word nanos which means dwarf. If Mr Tata had understood the meaning well enough and extended his nano gesture towards our country’s education, it would have been morally more valuable than his Rs 1 lakh car. Instead of pouring $50 million into the ocean, it would have been appreciated had Mr Tata sprinkled a few drops into the parched education system in India, especially in the rural reaches.

Need and want

The front page of today's Times of India (October 13, 2001) is dripping with ads for that festive fervour, gold raining at the Commonwealth , Sachin Tendulkar topping popularity chart in Don’s own land and Mukesh Ambani adding diamonds to this glittery India shining crown with his ready-to-move-in 27-storeyed mansion.
The festive zeal picked up as I turned to the inside pages, with colourful display of creative advertising, smartly infusing consumerism with religious sentiments. Even news stories were advertorials, goading consumers to shop for the best ghagra -cholis for the Devi pujan and pop dandia raas. Coming to Page 13, Narendra Modi’s picture showed him flashing the victory sign as his party swept all six municipal corporations in Gujarat. But just below Modi’s successful cocktail of communal polarisation and industrialisation with a generous sprinkling of urban shine was buried a story on food insecurity in India. It said that India had dropped two ranks to reach 67th among the 84 developing countries in the International Food Policy Research Institute’s annual Global Food Index for 2010. Even Sudan, North Korea and Pakistan ranked higher than India.
India is home to 42 per cent of the underweight children under the age of five in the world. The report said the food insecurity is so rampant in the country that India is clubbed with minor economies like Bangladesh and Yemen, recording the highest prevalence of underweight in children under five.
The Commonwealth muck has now been pushed under the debris of the broken foot bridge as was evident in the glitter of the opening ceremony. Now, the government is pulling out all stops to showcase the plush Indian drawing room at the international fora. Never mind the hungry children stashed away into the empty kitchens inside or the sick dying of dengue, malaria or malnutrition in dirty-dingy interiors. Even the media chooses to push hunger inside and yield to the salability of glamour and glitz.
Coming back to the man who made it to the Forbes’ billionaire list, Mr Ambani. He has devoted six levels of his multi-million-dollar castle to park his 160-plus cars. Back in Delhi, the government had “rinsed” the urban space and made it squeaky clean by driving out the homeless a day before the Commonwealth Games contingents began arriving. And in forests, far into the interiors of Chattisgarh or Orissa, native tribals go to sleep with the Damocles’ sword of displacement hanging over their heads.
This is a dangerous but inevitable cliché: Our drawing rooms are bright and shiny. But when are we going to generate light to the insides of our house?
My nine-year-old daughter, to whom we read and explain the papers every morning, asked us a question: Why does God give some people too much money and some nothing? Do people ‘need’ so many cars? Why can’t God give food to those who are hungry?
Poor creature! She still thinks God up there is responsible for feeding the hungry and clothing the poor. Having been brought up in the ‘need’ and ‘want’ theory diet, it might take a few more years for her to understand it is the ‘want’ , not ‘need’, that is driving our nation’s consumerist economy.

Ram and Robot

Ram was everywhere, in the media, on the streets, even in school buses. My daughter was eager to know what happened to Ayodhya because she was keen on knowing whether she will get a Friday off. But Ram had to make way for Rajnikant that Friday. Ram might fail, but Rajni ‘kant’. The prayers, aartis and milk abhishegam (offerings) went to the King of Kollywood, not the prince of Ayodhya that morning. Poor Ram, he had to make way for Rajni despite being proved in the court of law that he was indeed born on the disputed site. Rajni was in every news channel holding a million guns, and running sideways on the train. Damn gravity, Newton. Rewrite your theories.
But both Ram and Robot got the money spinning during the Gandhi Jayanti weekend. What Ram could do, Rajni could do better. Ram added wealth to the coffers of television channels and mobile service providers who shared the spoils of the revenue from patriotic and secular messages that rained throughout the week leading to the Ayodhya judgment. And, Rajni’s Robot raked in an obscene fortune on the first day of its release.
The previous day, the High Court verdict was out and the Mc Donald’s generation loved it, the champagne-clinkers in their drawing room discussions were happy with the “sensible” verdict on a sensitive subject. The media added to the spirited discussions with their “India has moved on” and India First campaigns. So everyone was happy, everyone had "moved on". Now, the nation has to focus on its economy. Yes, yes, all of this, and more.
Just thinking aloud: would the same majority be on a high if the verdict was different? The court has corroborated the faith of the people. Is our judicial system supposed to use faith to crush fact? The court has behaved like a benevolent despot, spelling out Birbal-like wisdom to aggrieved parties. The decision seemed to be aiming at soothing nerves, rather than settling a hard core legal dispute. Devotion, not documents, held the key to the Ram janmasthan. Title deeds made way for good or bad deeds, and our Ram’s vanar sena begged, borrowed and stole the contentious area to please their dear Ram. (Stole because they smuggled in the idols inside the Babri masjid in December 1949). The courts then validated the theft by cloaking it with the argument of faith. Isn’t that a dangerous legal trend? Shouldn’t the court take cognizance of evidence, rather than fall back on faith, even if millions of Hindu hearts are involved?
Does the court’s recognition of Ram’s birthplace despite the 1949 illegal break-in then inadvertently give credence to the saffron brigade that prepared the janmabhoomi pitch culminating in the insanity of 1992? Does it then mutely agree on its aftermath, when our much-abused secular fabric was torn asunder and stained with blood again?
Robot, too, fails on logic, if trailers are anything to go by. The spectacular special effects seem to have camouflaged reason, just like the spectacular efforts of our judicial, political and media players to bury reason and make people feel “all izz well”.
In contemporary India, reason certainly does not sell. Ram and Robot triumphed because of loyalty, not logic. Ram stays put right under the now-demolished Babri dome, and Rajni stays put among his frenzied fans.

Atithi Devo Bhago!

A word of caution: I am in a vitriolic worst. Any offence to anyone living or dead is not intentional.
Commonwealth Games Federation (CGF) CEO Mike Hooper is hopping mad, frustrated, irritated and annoyed with India for what has happened, or not happened. He said India had got seven years to prepare for the games, but its constant missing of deadlines had been a “frustrating” experience. Senior government officials’ flippant comparison of the Games to that of an Indian wedding, where everything “seems” wrong till the groom arrives, and then they work well till the end has not gone down well with the CWG officials.
It is a moment of shame for all of us in India. We are driving out our atithi (guests) before they arrive.
Just thinking aloud: When a non-Indian comes here and passes such uncomplimentary remarks, we feel insulted. But when non-resident Indians pass such comments, we feel double insulted. Why? Because we feel they have been part of this system at some point of time.
We, the resident Indians, fume when our non-resident family members from the West and Far East come here for their annual shot of India vaccine and vilify everything that is India: water, weather, health, hygiene, education. They say our airports are dirty, our stations dirtier and we have no systems in place. They name a superbug after our national capital. They blame our doctors for prescribing antibiotics without a flutter, making them responsible for the superbug in a Western body. They say we have no method of administering checks on prescription drugs as they are available over the counter. They say we Indians have no civic sense and spit red betel juices all over. They say we do not know how to follow traffic rules on the roads, and therefore do not deserve so many automobile manufacturing units. They say our banking mechanisms are bad. They say our education system is worse with children forced to cram before examinations. They say India stinks, it is dirty. Its people lack discipline. They have no sense of time…. In short, after that long one: A lot of India is bad.
But a little of India is good too: For shopping; for clothes; for mathris, murukkus and masalas; for festivities and the accompanied goodies (we never disappoint them on that); for chivda and chaats (better be “hygienic”); for the Karan Johar-Shah Rukh Khan brand of candy floss Hindi films and the accompanying red-hot pop-sufi music.
Today, our NRI annual guests will have another lovely weapon to badger the morale of the resident Indians: The shame and the sham of the Commonwealth Games.
We know many of this is true. But it hurts. When our children make mistakes, we chide them. But when someone else scolds them, we get upset.
Thank you, the Government of India. Thank you, Shiela Dikshit. Thank you, Suresh Kalmadi. Thank you, all the officials who have managed to keep our NRI tongues wagging for ever and ever and ever. They will never stop now. We, the poor resident Indians, have no choice but to lick our wounds.
Atithi, devo bhago!

Once upon a time in Madurai...

Once upon a time in Madurai, Kovalan, an aristocratic landowner, went to pawn his wife, Kannagi’s anklet, when they fell in bad times. The pawn broker, who had stolen the anklet of the Pandyan king’s wife, decided to make Kovalan the scapegoat as the anklet looked identical. The Pandyan king immediately sentenced Kovalan to death. Enraged, Kannagi stormed the palace gates and proved to the king that her anklet had diamonds by breaking open the other pair. Diamonds rolled all over the palace court, making the Pandyan king ashamed of his deed. His queen’s anklets had pearls in them.
Today, a few elements in our democratic India are bending backwards to shame us with their autocratic ideas of the judicial system. The Pune Bar Association exposed its hollowness by trying to dissuade an advocate, Mr Sushil Mancharkar, when he declared his intention to take up the case of Himayat Mirza Baig, prime accused in the German Bakery blast case. There have been more appeals, requests and even warnings from political parties to shun the case. Their argument: Mr Mancharkar should not fight the case of an anti-national who has “killed” 17 people by his gruesome act. They have already passed the sentence in their private court that Baig was indeed the one who planted the bomb that devastated the bakery and shook the calmness of Punekars.
The BJP, Shiv Sena and the like have held demonstrations outside Mr Mancharkar’s house and even threatening him of “serious trouble” if he took up Baig’s case.
In another development, Advocate A. Rehman, Baig’s lawyer, was made to resign from the Nationalist Congress Party (NCP). He was general secretary of the party’s minority wing. The NCP does not want to be left behind in this race for political mileage as it clipped the wings of its lawyer-member so that the party could be in league of the sentimental public in the aftermath of the blast.
But, does not our constitution guarantee us our a multiple-tier legal system to prove our innocence?
Baig is an accused, not yet proved guilty. By mounting political and muscle pressure on people willing to give Baig a chance to prove himself in the court of law is an assault on democratic ideals. Why do we have a legal system if the suspects are not given a chance to prove their innocence? We could easily have the autocratic/despotic system where a suspect is sentenced and sent to the guillotine without a trail.
Our politicians do not want to left behind in this mad race to guard their vote banks, but at what cost?
Our legal system too ensures that cases drag for years, decades. What justice are we talking about? When it is delayed, it certainly is denied. People are getting impatient over the lethargic legal machinery. They need results, they need decisions. Therefore, their speedy conclusion that Baig “is” indeed guilty the moment he is arrested is a psychological satisfaction for them. They are fed up with cases of Mumbai blasts dragging on. They are fed up with an Afzal Guru or a Kasab trial dragging on. Therefore, this knee-jerk response.
Is it possible to clear the blocks in the legal machinery and oil it well enough to win over the confidence of the citizens who ride them? This will ensure they stop making such reckless statements.

Hey Ram!

The Ayodhya verdict is creating more waves in the media than in the Indian political ocean. Political parties and religious groups are maintaining an uneasy silence a few days before the Lucknow bench of the Allahabad High Court delivers the judgment in the Ayodhya dispute on September 24. The parties are nervous on the outcome of one of post-colonial India’s most explosive issues. The Sangh Parivar and Muslim groups are edgy, but are not showing any signs of getting flustered over the verdict. Both sides have given generous bytes on the possibility of knocking the doors of the Supreme Court.
The Centre has urged the leaders and the people to exercise restraint. A lot of responsibility lies on Mayawati ‘s shoulders to keep the epicentre of the emotional quake intact. She had requisitioned for additional troops, but the Centre has parted with three-fourth of the number she asked for.
The bitter memories of December 6, 1992, and the aftermath of the darkest deed in post-Independent history have remained just that, a bitter memory. It is almost two decades now. The youth of today, those who were born after 1992, have not been through the trauma of the unending dark curfew nights and terror-stricken winter mornings. The enormous time the case has dragged in the courts has left us anesthetised. Saffron leaders, who remote-controlled people’s religious sentiments for their political gains, seem to have themselves pressed the mute button. L.K. Advani, who took out the rath yatra, as purely an election strategy to whip emotions in 1990, appears weary. Sadhvi Rithambara with her hollering of “ek dhakka aur” that energised the kar sevaks to bring down the Babri Masjid to dust, is nowhere in any frame. Uma Bharti, the other key saffron anti-Babri player, is languishing in Madhya Pradesh politicking.
Let us hope people do not take seriously the few stray bytes of the Parivar. RSS strongman Mohan Bhagwat has said his team will await the court verdict, but laced his controlled demeanour with the statement, “Of course, the aspirations of the Hindu society is that there should be a temple at Ram Janmabhoomi.” Shiv Sena’s Bal Thackeray has also meowed about the right to mandir in Ayodhya.
The court decision, whatever it may be, will be nothing more than an ego issue between the leaders of the two religious communities. It has ceased to be an election plank anyway. Those born post-1992, the post-liberalisation youth, who will never feel the hurt of the 1992-93 communal bruises, have other issues to grapple with. Environment, health, education, employment and inflation are more pressing than Ram.
Even if an elaborate Ram temple does come up, how many will be willing to take Ram’s blessings in that premises, having stepped on the rubble of an erstwhile mosque and trampled over countless victims of communal hate? Do we need a temple at that cost?
Ram might prefer to be in our hearts, and not in a temple, built on death and destruction.

Yes, Prime Minister

Our Prime Minister has ruled out free lunch for people below the poverty line. Fair enough. He has taken on the Supreme Court for “straying into the executive’s domain by ordering distribution of free food grains for the poor”. But isn’t the Supreme Court the conscience-keeper of the executive and legislature? After all, in our democracy, we are at the mercy of the executive and legislature, apart from the fourth estate. Mercy, yes, we are at their mercy.
The Supreme Court had banned bandhs to help the ubiquitous common man, the aam admi, to commute, to earn his daily wage. But our political parties continue calling for such bandhs. The latest one was today to protest price rise that is seemingly hitting the common man the most. Thank you very much. They have managed to throttle the day’s earning for their aam admi. The government, against which such reckless shows are performed, has even stopped thinking about the bandh as a major pressure move aimed at coercing any reversal of decisions. And, at the end of the day, it is the daily wager who is denied of that day’s earning.
Mr Manmohan Singh has given a wonderful solution to narrow down the income imbalances in our country. He has suggested shifting to industrialisation from agriculture, citing low returns in food production. But, Mr Prime Minister, is there an alternative solution to our nation’s food security? Who will grow our food? Or are we planning to import rice and wheat in exchange for other favours we will have to dole out to the lenders.
Mr Manmohan Singh has also been very vocal about rearranging priorities. He feels the country’s poverty could not be solved by leaving the nation’s rich mineral resources, which happen to be in tribal areas, untapped. Yes, Mr Prime Minister, the country’s poverty levels will not drop. Rather, if these mineral resources are untapped, the billions in the conglomerates’ bank accounts will drop. That will be sad. India will not be able to showcase the growing number of billionaires in Forbes. So what if the country’s poverty line keeps getting altered according to statistical juggling?
But Mr Prime Minister, your party’s dashing poster boy, Rahul Gandhi, has told the tribals that he is their sipahi in Delhi, who will fight for their rights. The aam aadmi would like to know who is the party’s ‘right’ face?

'Cheques' and balances

Shall we corporatise our polity? Can our MPs then learn corporate etiquette, now that they have arm-twisted the government into handing them fatter pay cheques?
The MPs are now officially and legally a well-paid lot. The Cabinet approval of a 300 per cent hike closely followed by another hike in the already revised constituency and office allowances to Rs 25,000 will now be denting the exchequer of over Rs150 crore. Their take home, or to use a corporate jargon, CTC, includes Rs 50,000 salary, daily allowance of Rs 2,000, constituency allowance of Rs 45,000 and office allowance of Rs 45,000. However, the bungalows in Lutyens Delhi or the free air and train travel are beyond the purview of the CTC.
The second increase in the constituency allowance was when a dissatisfied Laloo Prasad Yadav and Mulayam Singh Yadav clamoured for more. And in their quest for a pay hike, they stalled the proceedings in the Lok Sabha last week. Obviously, they felt the Cabinet must have followed the House panel’s recommendation of a five-fold hike to Rs 80,001. The ruling party had to keep in mind the stubborn price rise, hitting consumers. A large, blatant pay hike would not have gone down well among voters.
But let us try to look at the sunny side. We are suddenly thinking about spiraling prices when it comes to paying our MPs. We do not think twice about throwing obscene amount of money into the Commonwealth Games. Or the innumerable official `dos’ that eat into our coffers. Or the extensive use of official vehicles, in the name of security. Or the “official” frequent flier miles they gather. These are anyway the perks that come with power.
It is nice to argue that the pay hike might encourage young talent into politics. It might streamline the process of entry into politics, irrespective of the dynamics of dynasties and godfathers.
Second, it might try and teach a lesson or two on morality and ethics to our political leaders. A full stomach will never ask for more food. There is, however, a fundamental difference between food and money. You can stuff food and fall sick, but you can never stuff wads of notes and fall sick.
Probably, we can justify this hike by involving a few corporate mechanisms. There could be an annual, foolproof performance appraisal system for MPs. Then there could be a strong, apolitical vigilance system that could rap the MPs on their knuckles whenever their long arms dip their hands into dirty money. If the government is parting with a significant amount of the tax payers’ money, it better be responsible for the accounting.

Salaam Mamata!

Mamata Banerjee dared to keep her date with Lalgarh, and how. One of the most underdeveloped parts of West Bengal, covering Midnapur, Purulia and Bankura, yesterday rallied for a face of democracy.
Mamata swept Lalgarph off its feet by simply stepping on a terrain “left” virtually untouched for very long. She spoke the language of development and peace. She did not elaborate on both. But at least she rolled her dice in one of the most dangerous gambles, both political and personal. And, she has come out unscathed. She attracted members of the People Committee against Police Atrocities (PCPA), including activist, Medha Patkar, whose presence is a giant endorsement for her. The swelling crowd in the Marxist stronghold and Maoist hotbed, bitter with government apathy, was probably giving Mamata a chance.
The left is crying foul, of course. The party’s top leaders are resorting to puerile rhetoric, obviously fearing Mamata’s march into the hitherto Marxist stronghold. Calling her Trinamool Congress as Trinamool Maoist Congress, the CPM leader, Mr Sitaram Yechury, has alleged, “Mamata can go to Lalgarh without arms because Maoists are carrying the arms for her.” He said the rally would hamper the peace process in the area, and allow the Maoists to regroup. (source: The Times of India). Earlier, Prakash Karat had slammed Mamata Banerjee for her rally plans. Obviously, these meek voices of protest are natural for a party that fears losing its three-decade-old grip on Bengal soil.
The August 9 rally not only brought villagers from Punnapani, Bamal, Gohomidanga, Lakshmanpur and Jharnadange, but also from nearby towns like Haldia, Dispur, Garbeta, Ghatal, Midnapore and Tamluk. (source The Telegraph).
A neutral skeptic would easily see Mamata’s rally and rhetoric as a pre-election gimmick, and her desperate attempt to get rural Bengal divorce its Left affiliation, and fall for her hook, line and sinker. Mamata has played her political card like a shrewd poker player. She has used the Lalgarh unrest well to her political advantage to batter the already-bruised Left in Bengal.
But at the same time, Lalgarh had almost fallen off the map of Left Front’s governance. So the neglected people of Lalgarh were all the more interested in lapping up the attention of a Central government minister. They have nothing to lose anyway. Rallying behind Mamata would give them some positive mileage in the media, which has always painted them with a black brush. They have been seen as villains of peace and democracy by the home ministry and the elite holding forth drawing room discussions while tinkling champagne glasses. No wonder that the elite news media uses the derogatory expression for Maoist strongholds: they call them “Naxal-infested areas”. The media discusses them with disdain, without even caring to devote an inch of newsprint to the other side of the story where the rich are mining into the villagers’ right to livelihood, and displacing them in return.
It is high time to test the sincerity of politicians to assure the Maoists of their humane face.
Salaam Mamata! Whatever is her gameplan. At least, she has inadvertently gifted the Maoist struggle an element of credibility.

Dry ideas

The monsoons arrived in Pune on time, but somewhere lost its way. So the initial promises of wiping off the dry spell waned as June and almost the first three weeks of July were bone dry. I procrastinated the replacement of our worn-out umbrella as it would just be lying without work on our empty lobby bench or overflowing shelves.
Then the media woke up to the receding water levels in the dams near Pune. And the municipal corporation, too, announced severe water cuts fearing scarcity of the precious liquid. The media began running stories on ways to save water now. The usage of the word, now, bothered me. Why now? Why not always? Predictably, citizens rose to the occasion, saying they used clothes-rinsed water to clean their bathrooms and vegetable-washed water to water their garden etc etc “now” that the water levels have hit bottom markings in the catchment.
The day after the papers carried these fancy save-water campaigns, with elements of citizen activism thrown in, down came the rain and washed these campaigns out. The corporation then decided against water cuts as dams were getting filled up. The stories on saving water dried up, too.
Why is it that we wait for a crisis to react and act? Water is most easily available to us, and most easily misused. And the media, too, projects any save-water campaign only with reference to its crisis during that period, convincing its readers that water had to be used carefully only in times of a shortfall.
I remember, when there was a petrol supply strike in Chennai, the newspapers were full of stories on how to save petrol. There were generous inputs from residents on how they saved the pricy and precious liquid in times of that crisis. People heaved a sigh of relief that they did not “have to drive” and could spare themselves the “horror” of manoeuvring the traffic. They all claimed they loved taking the public transport system, including the MRTS trains. They said the air they inhaled was better as more and more people relied on walking or cycling to their nearest grocery store or vegetable vendor, ignoring their long-time partner-in-crime, their gas-gurgling four-wheelers. The media romanticized the spirit of the people and how they handled the crisis.
Water or petrol, we have limited resources of both. The person using petrol has the added guilt of leaving behind carbon footprints. Is it not the responsibility of the media to not restrict themselves to select occasions, but familiarize the reader regularly with the need to save water and petrol? Now that the rains have lashed Pune, and water is back in the dams, will those responsible citizens who used clothes-rinsed water for bathrooms, and vegetable-washed water for the gardens continue to do so? Or will they keep their taps on while scrubbing their utensils, which is unnecessary anyway as we need water only for rinsing them.
We are approaching the time when wars might be fought over water. It is better we save that for those rainy days.

Crash of hope?

As news channels continuously aired the crash clippings, with Google maps showing the site of the crash, my daughter asked me a very fundamental question: “Amma, what if we are in a plane and something like this happens to us.”
I was shaken by her thought process, but pretended to be calm. The news channels had successfully sown the seeds of fear in my daughter, and I am sure into many other minds, not just children, on air travel safety. I managed to tell her it was an accident and such things do happen once a while. I could not lie to her that this was just a once-in-a-life event, and that such things would never recur. That would be a lie, and would leave her unprepared for any possible shocks in future. But I know she would think about this tragedy for a long time to come. The fear may fade with time, but will never get erased.
Then the “miraculous” escape of eight passengers aboard the same plane flashed in my mind. I have often told my journalism students that miracles never happened in news stories. So when there is a news item which says three escaped miraculously in a train or car accident, I would ask them to edit out the word ‘miraculously’. I would say, “Just begin with three persons escaped, instead of inserting the word miraculously.” But the Mangalore plane crash and my daughter’s anxiety sent me thinking about miracles. Do they really happen? Does a little prayer help? It is not just about air. Five days back, Naxalites blew up a bus, killing civilians, including children. Two days later, the Naxals destroyed a train track and blew up a few of the tankers. Then, of course, there are signal errors that cause train accidents. So is train travel safe then? Either way we are caught. Air travel or train travel, life has become a gloriously uncertain entity.
I have a habit of thinking about God each time someone I care for leaves the house. I do not say accidents will stop because of that, or my selfish wish that at least those I care for do not become victims. But the prayer gives me the satisfaction of fortifying myself with hope. This might sound bizarre to atheists, but the truth is prayers do make me wish for the best, and in strange situations hope that miracles do help our loved ones. This might sound selfish, but isn’t it true?
I might probably pass on this habit of saying a silent prayer before leaving the house to my daughter. She has asked me multiple times why I say “Durga, Durga’ when someone or we leave the house. I would just say it makes me feel good to call God before leaving the house. When she grows up, I intend telling her that I feel a prayer nurtures optimism, a hope, an anticipation of a miracle in the event of something untoward.
Do pilots pray before take off and thank god after a smooth landing? It is their skill that will ensure safe travel for the passengers. But probably a little prayer to the Pilot Above might just help.

A ‘racqueteer’

Television channels are having a ball. What with Ayesha Siddiqui creating a “racquet” by suddenly surfacing overground with claims of marriage, “physical intimacy” and even a “miscarriage” to Pakistan cricketer Shoaib Malik in the wake of his sudden engagement to Sania Mirza. The marriage is 10 days away and the cricket star is in the Hyderabad police net on charges of cheating and dowry harassment.
Why is it that whenever there is an Indo-Pakistan alliance, matrimonial or otherwise, the spokes are sharpened and then poked on the wheels of some progress? It has been almost 10 years since the alleged marriage between the Hyderabad girl and the Pakistani cricketer. The sudden resurfacing of the controversy springs up a vague suspicion of a “foreign” hand. Is someone instigating Ayesha against the Indo-Pakistani match? Suspicion is what keeps the RAWs and the intelligence agencies working. But the sheer timing of the controversy does not bode well for any positive relationship between the two siblings of colonial parentage. It has been 67 years, and we are yet to grow beyond suspicion and hatred.
As if these are not sufficient, there are saffron gatekeepers “advising” Sania Mirza not to get married to the Pakistani, and if she did, not to play for India in the Olympics. This display of abject patriarchy is nothing new to India, but it is high time we take the country forward progressively without engaging in regressive comments.
In high school mathematics text books, we were given a time and work problem sum about a monkey climbing a tree of a specified height but slipping back to a specified level of the tree. The problem question was how long it would take for the monkey to reach the top. Weak as I was in math, I could never solve this problem. The Indo-Pak ties are like this monkey, we take a few steps forward, and there are people to pull us backward. At this rate, when will we ever reach the pinnacle of positive Indo-Pak ties?

Marathi manoos, rest assured

Osama Bin laden did more harm to Muslims across the globe than to the American, or the global non-Muslim psyche. He isolated the Muslims from the rest of the global community and made them the subject of suspicion and mistrust.
The same is happening to Maharashtrians in our country. The Shiv Sena and the Maharashtra Navnirman Sena are slowly isolating the Maharashtrians with their parochial politicking. “Mumbai is for Indians” has become a highly explosive statement that has the potential to detonate a political explosion, causing toxic fumes across the country. Sachin Tendulkar tried the line and got caught behind. Mukesh Ambani tried it too. His position and wealth did not allow more than a few murmurs of protest. When the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) chief, Mohan Bhagwat, came up with the same sound byte, the Marathi champions were livid. The BJP’s new chief, Nitin Gadkari, a Maharashtrian, cleverly reworded the “Mumbai for Indians” slogan, saying, “There are regional, linguistic and other identities of people, but they all converge into the larger identity of Indianness. There could never be or should be a conflict among these various identities.”
Brave words from the Shiv Sena’s alliance partner, especially amid the recent row over making knowledge of Marathi compulsory for Mumbai taxi operators. There was an official decision to this effect, then a U-turn. But the Sena rivals already have their fingers ready on the linguistic trigger to cause trouble to non-Marathi taxi drivers.
The BJP has so long been swallowing the Shiv Sena’s bitter pill for north Indians, without letting it affect its sweet tooth. Suddenly, the BJP has decided to coat that pill with sugar to get sweet returns in the Bihar Assembly elections this year-end.
The Marathi manoos campaign has discoloured the saffron parivar for now, with the RSS and BJP vociferously carrying out a “Mumbai for Indians” campaign.
But the biggest loser in this political game is the Marathi manoos. There is already a growing mistrust among the north Indian community against the political perpetrators of this linguistic campaign. But if stern action is not taken against the villains of peace, the animosity might soon invade the middle class Indians’ drawing rooms, and kick up dust, that might hurt the Marathi eyes.
The need of the hour is for progressive Indians to assure the Marathi manoos that they need not panic about being alienated by the non-Marathis just because a handful of power-hungry politicians are scheming an ominous plot to grab the seat of democracy.

What a mess!

The great cricket tamasha (Indian Premier League season 3) is at best a sleazy bollywood masala. There is action, tragedy, romance, drama....everything.
The sport is dead; long live the green buck irrigating the lush playing fields. Players are up for sale, and the IPL market is bustling with high-brow body shoppers. Hammer, not the willow, is the match-winner here.
This year, the IPL casino parlour got murkier with the franchisees boycotting Pakistan players. The Indian government and P. Chidambaram cried foul over reports that the decision was fuelled by the possible visa restrictions that might be imposed on the players. Pakistan was humiliated, and so were the players who took home the twenty-20 world cup trophy last year. A hurt Shahid Afridi said, “"The way I see it, the IPL and India have made fun of us and our country by treating us this way.”
The issue was dangerously edging towards a diplomatic row between the already volatile neighbours. An embittered Pakistan declared its players would not feature in the IPL next year.
A newspaper report said the franchisees were apprehensive to include Pakistani players as their presence might not go down well with the fading Mumbai tiger, Bal Thackeray, and the fresh Mumbai terror, Raj Thackeray, as many matches were to be played in the city!
The IPL boss, Lalit Modi, first messed up the show, then messed it up more by saying the doors were still open for Pakistan players, if players dropped out.
The act continued…In a sudden turn, the Deccan Chargers, one of the franchisees, invited Pakistan all-rounder Abdul Razzaq to represent them.
The Indian government, the IPL management and the franchisees, have all handled the issue with a high degree of immaturity. It is said money speaks, but does it speak this kind of nonsense?
The noted columnist, Peter Roebuck, has lauded the Australian cricketers for having given the IPL a miss, saying they have shown “great wisdom in not putting their hat for the IPL auction”. He said they have the Ashes in mind, and that is a promising sign.
The game lives on outside India.

Mothers in 'form'!

A standing ovation for the Maharashtra government to allow children to use their mother’s maiden names in school admission forms. This decision will come as a relief for single mothers, who could be divorcees, widows or adoptive single mothers. Single mothers in the country have to face this trauma of not getting identified by the school authorities, unlike their father, who finds space in these forms even in absentia. Motherhood is sacrosanct, a relationship that is often glorified in art forms like literature and films.
According to the Hindu custom, a son begins the rituals of his dead father, by saying, “My mother told me you are my father....” Motherhood is a secret. No one but the mother knows who the father is. Paternity tests can be held to prove the origin of the sperm. Motherhood needs no such tests. But our patriarchal system requires the father’s name, and not that of a mother, when society can never confirm who the father is, only assume!
A founding member of a leading Delhi-based school chain made an interesting observation last week during the school’s annual day function. He said that his school's criterion for granting admission to a child was the mother's education, not the father's. Further, the greatest prerequisite the school looked for in the child was his/her mother’s occupational status. His reason: It was the mother who helped the child with home assignments. Therefore, a homemaker’s child had a better chance of cruising through the admission process than her working counterpart. If the mother was a doctor, the school was not too keen to admit the ward because she would be on call all the time and it might not be possible for her to attend to her child’s educational requirements.
This was also the case with two other school chains which have branches all over the world. This sounds sexist, and opens a working versus stay-at-home mom debate. But that is a different discussion route, which I am not going to take at the moment.
It is interesting to note that it is mostly the mothers who attend the school’s parent-teacher meetings, probably because they help them with their school assignments. This is not to negate the role of fathers in bringing up a child.
Then why are they never given the space in the admission forms? It would do well for other states in the country to emulate the Maharashtra example and provide relief for such single mothers, who are struggling against all odds to find their own identity.

stay-at-home mom syndrome

Twenty two days have gone past the time we entered the new decade. I have probably not been active enough to even prepare my new year resolution. I never subscribe to the “how time flies” statement. The reason is time does not really fly; it is the how I meaninglessly spent it. The shift to Pune from Chennai is complete. Eight months is a long time to shift gears and settle in the new pace any new city allows. I am now a stay-at-home mom due to variety of professional and personal reasons. The change comes with its share of pitfalls. There is restlessness coupled with helplessness. But when I notice the twinkle in my eight-year-old’s eyes as she sees me opening the door for her when she comes back from school, I feel strangely happy at being home. But there is also an element of anxiety regarding how I want to exploit my interests and tap my forte. What I see is a confused myself, sometimes an exaggerated “completely at a loss” situation.
Children are demanding, and they sometimes have strange ideas and needs. This is more so with the single child. Their most coveted demand is time. With working mothers, bonding time is always at a premium, which is not so with their stay-at-home counterparts. But children tend to demand more from their at-home mothers. Fair enough. These mothers, like me at the moment, will have the time to satiate their children’s appetite for time. But then it does not take these children long enough to realize that their at-home moms are always at their beck-and-call. And they do treat them as their personal fiefdom.
My daughter has strictly “instructed” me not to attend my cousin’s wedding in Bangalore because it coincides with her final exam date! She has the audacity to challenge my travel plan, and even veto it. Her reason: “Who will ask me questions before my exams?” Though her father has decided to pitch in as the stand-by mom for three days, she is not confident he would help her prepare well for her examinations. Do I read it as a compliment? I do not think so. Or does she feel her father might be too busy with work, and he might not concentrate too well? Wrong again. It is just a feeling of possessiveness that the single child has for the home mom. Taking for granted is probably too strong a word to attribute for children. But these children play around with the emotional control they have over their home moms.
Such moms also run the risk of taking flak from their children, on whom they have invested time and emotion. My daughter commented the other day that “amma anyway does not do anything, so she can do this for me”! Both my husband and I were too shocked to react. She actually feels I do nothing, so I’d better cater to her needs. This hurt me. Was I getting led into this situation where my daughter will have a complete emotional command over me, and then make myself vulnerable to her open declarations of my non-working status, which she interprets as “she does nothing”? That was a harsh slap on my face. I felt like a nobody.
They say nothing succeeds like success. Today’s children probably interpret the stay-at-home moms as unsuccessful and incompetent, and fit only for fulfilling their gastronomical demands. It is high time I woke up to this reality; and stop getting tempted to go for a postprandial snooze. My daughter may well interpret that as laziness personified.