“I am part of five WhatsApp groups, and
sometimes find it so cumbersome to chat with all of them. I find myself
chatting the whole day and it is tiring,” commented my friend, an avid
smartphone user. I felt the comment sounded more like a lament.
This prompted me to think about whether I
must buy a smartphone to stay “connected”. I own a conservative, 1200-rupee
Nokia handset, which helps me take and make calls, send and receive messages
and set the alarm for 5 every morning. It is rock steady even after having
fallen from great heights a million times.
Coming back to chats, we are often faced
with these virtual interactive sessions. Often, in the middle of some work, I
hear the ping sound from the desktop (by the way, I am really old fashioned. I
still do not own a laptop, happy with all my virtual connections through my
desktop!) I always respond, though I must admit, it is sometimes done with a
little reluctance as it would disrupt the flow of my work. I answer, not just
out of politeness, but out of reciprocation. This is because I am equally guilty
of clicking on my friends’ names that have a green circle next to it, indicating
his/her availability. Sometimes, even when the circle is red indicating
availability, though busy, I have pinged to say that “quick hi”.
I have been blissfully unaware that my
virtual friend might really be busy and is responding out of politeness. And,
what is more, I am unaware of the expression on the other side. Then, of course, the chat never seems to end.
The “byes, take cares, we must catch up soons” keep continuing, unless one of
us abruptly pulls the plug.
When laptops replaced desktops, it made internet
accessibility more mobile. And now, the smartphones/androids have made us all roving,
active social butterflies. We are taking the idea of always being connected too
seriously. Is this making us intrusive and ill-mannered?
Intrusive?
In a way, yes. We tend to intrude into the other person’s space, without
realising the time that goes on in this cyber socialising. And, it can happen
at any time of the day, night and late night. We do not even bother to feel whether
that person is really free. We often assume and take their time for granted.
Ill-mannered? Again, yes. Virtual chatting
can slowly eradicate manners among us. We tend to say things which we would
have otherwise shied away from.
Virtual chatting can be dangerous, and
sometimes even fatal. There have been cases of suicides after a virtual spat. We tend to cross our limits as we are ensconced
in our private space and there is no indication of any discomfort either in the
form of body language or in the form of physical eye-contact.
Touch phones have made virtual interaction very convenient and trendy. College kids and adults often swim along in the (un)intentional
flirting that goes on, which is often laced with sensual/sexual references. Lack
of proximity helps virtual friends get that feeling of being “emancipated”. Sadly,
that is only in cyberspace.
Another point is that this bunch of youth, which
is so comfortable with virtual chats, is often seen to be pathetically backward
in real interface. Small wonder then that they are unable to fluently communicate
in the real world in a single language as they are often breaking into pitiable
linguistic pauses like “you know”, “like” and “umm”.
Of course, I know I am opening up a can of
criticisms as many of my friends will be hopping mad at my way of looking at
things. The cyberspace has been a wonderful world where we picked up pieces of
our childhood and found so many friends. So what is wrong with that? I do not
have a problem with social networking at all. In fact, it is blessing that has
made me run into friends I had lost touch with; my friends with whom I had shared
my lunch in primary school.
Virtual chatting is my concern, not an abhorrent.
Concern because it is time-consuming. I feel it is alienating us increasingly
from the real world, reducing us into zombies, with our fingers moving back and
forth, up and down the screen all the time, even when we are among “real” friends.
Having said this, do I switch to a
smartphone when communication will be at my fingertips? For the moment, I will stick to my old Nokia.
I want to stay connected, without being
addicted.
Virtual bouquets and brickbats are welcome!
